


Pandoras Triangle

by Critique_Masochist



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Bill thinks Dipper is being crazy, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Deal with a Devil, Demon Deals, Dimension Travel, Dipper pities Bill, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Maybe Tsundere Bill?, briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-02 02:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19190146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Critique_Masochist/pseuds/Critique_Masochist
Summary: Dipper couldn’t sleep and it wasn’t because his clock had grown eyes.No, it did that sometimes, he was used to it by now.





	1. A Happy Birthday

Dipper couldn’t sleep and it wasn’t because his clock had grown eyes. No, it did that sometimes, he was used to it by now.

Rather, it was because Mabel wasn’t there.

It was their birthdays tomorrow and Dipper had never spent a birthday without his sister. Heck, he had never even slept in a room without his sister! This was so weird! Birthdays without Mabel seemed like a logical impossibility. It was THEIR birthday, not just his. It had always been the two of them.

Dipper turned to face Mabel’s bed. He wished he could just fall asleep already.

Tick tock.

10 o clock.

The clock blinked and Dipper glared at it.

“This is fine.” He whispered.

The clocked gazed at him, mockingly.

“I’m glad she’s at her friend’s place. I’m glad I won’t have to deal with her tomorrow! Seriously, its hard to bear her endless boy talk sometimes. When will she grow up?”

Tomorrow, the clock seemed to say. Dipper didn’t like that. Watching clocks were fine but talking clocks were just creepy. He picked up the tiny metal box by his bedside and gave it a shake. The eye on the clock disappeared instantly and he could almost feel Bill’s frustration.

 

This ‘pandoras box’ was given to him by Ford. It was Bill’s new home until ford found a way to remove him from this plane of existence entirely, that is. The box was able to contain the demon mostly but abnormalities like eyes appearing out of nowhere and strange dreams were to be expected. This too was fine.

Actually, Dipper was almost happy not to be completely alone tonight. He gave the box a pat and returned his head onto the pillow.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Tick tock.

Still no sleep.

11 o clock.

“This better not be your doing, Bill.” He said, slowly realizing that there was absolutely nobody who would judge him for talking to the demon tonight.

Maybe Mable being gone had its benefits. Dipper looked around to see if the demon had summoned any new eyes. Not because they unsettled him but because he was bored to tears. The clock looked normal. The doorknob was normal too. The window had no eyes on it either.

 

“Are you tired too?” he asked the box. “I guess being a pervert takes a lot of your energy, huh?”

The box didn’t answer.

“You still haven’t apologized for that nightmare in which you tossed me off a skyscraper and into a pickle jar.” He huffed. “No way that wasn’t your magic.”

The box seemed very pleased with itself.

“Yeah, you were having fun, weren’t you?” Dipper teased. “I don’t think you even talked during all of that. You were just laughing.” A shiver went down his spine. It had been a silly but still terrifying dream.

The box was silent.

“You were always so talkative before. Is the captivity getting to you?”

The box looked at him with a single yellow eye and Dipper flinched. He had never seen bill do that before. Then again, Dipper had never really talked to the box directly before. Ford had expressed that under no circumstances should he tinker with it, which made the boy ignore the box most of the time.

 

“Um… hello?”

“Hi Pine tree!” The box beamed. That voice. Dipper had always hated how the demon sounded; this was partially because every time they talked Bill would do something to terrify him but now was different. Now the voice came out of a small harmless box. The demon couldn’t pull off any of his regular tricks… probably. There was absolutely no reason to be scared.

“Hi Bill.” The pine tree replied coldly.

“The clock the wall.” Bill said. “Look at the time.”

Dipper turned to see and was immediately greeted by Bill floating only inches from his face. Dipper shrieked and fell out of bed with a thump. Bill laughed maniacally and Dipper groaned.

“I missed you too!” the demon said lovingly.

Dipper got up and noticed something weird. The floors in his room were wooden and falling out of bed usually resulted in at least a bruise… but he was completely fine. It didn’t even hurt. At all. This was a dream.

“Right you are.” Said the demon. “AND LOOK AT THE TIME!”

“It’s uh… Bill get out of the way. It’s 12 o clock.”

 

The demon pulled out a tiny drum set out of nowhere and started playing an exciting beat, getting faster and faster and building anticipation. Dipper stared in confusion until he finally realized what the hell Bill was doing. It was a countdown. The second hand of the clock reached 12 and the minute hand moved one. It was one minute after midnight.

Bill destroyed the drums with his drumsticks, making ear-bleedingly loud noises, and sending the confetti hidden inside of the drum fly everywhere!

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINE TREE!” the demon cheered.

Dipper couldn’t help but laugh. This was ridiculous. “Thanks?” he wondered whether or not the demon had planned on giving Mable nightmares too.

“Nightmares? How rude!” Bill sighed. “And if you must know, no. Shooting star is terribly boring in dreams. She just…” he put his tiny arms on his hips. “…has fun?? I dangled her over a pit of spiders! Spiders! Spiders with human faces on their butts! And she laughed at them!”

Bill sounded almost offended which brought another giggle out of Dipper. He was so proud of his sister. “She is a brilliant lucid dreamer, isn’t she?”

“She’s stealing **my thing**. I’m supposed to be the one laughing.” The demon explained.

“Ha-hah-ha-ha.” Dipper said smugly.

“Oh, is that how you are treating me now? I will make you suffer a fate worse than being stuck in a pickle jar next time.” Bill scoffed.

“Sorry, it’s just hard for me to be nice to you after aaaall that you’ve done.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “Wishing me a happy birthday won’t change that.”

“But why, I’m here to do so much more than that!” Bill grabbed Dippers face and pulled a present out of the boy’s left ear. “I even got you a present!”

 

Dipper examined the present after pushing the triangle out of his face. It was the size of ‘pandoras box’ but calling it a box would imply that it was square shaped which it wasn’t. No, it was that annoying other shape that was currently obnoxiously floating around him.

Dipper opened it, much to the demon’s delight. Bill held back laughs as the triangle gift revealed countess sharp teeth. Dipper panicked at first, assuming that the present would bite him, before realizing that the teeth were the present.

He jammed the teeth out of the boxes mouth and examined one of the sharpest pieces. It was… stunningly beautiful. Some of the teeth had a strange rainbow shimmer to them and some seemed to change colour entirely in the light.

 

Dipper got out his notepad and compared some of the more familiar teeth with the pictures he had drawn. Which creature did they belong to? Were some of these from demons? He was so delighted at this new and exciting mystery that he almost didn’t notice Bill’s empty expression.

The dream demon was just floating there, arms at his sides, gazing at Dippers smiling face with a large empty eye. Dipper raised an eyebrow and fixed his bowtie nervously.

“That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.”

“Oh? What, did you expect me to scream?”

“No??” Bill paused. “Well, yes.”

“Why? These really aren’t what I would consider scary.”

“Well then your logic is CLEARLY upside-down!” the demon yelled before grabbing one of the teeth and waving it around. “THIS is the tooth of a space-worm! They eat PLANETS! PLANETS! They are the only thing that could threaten my existence on the physical plane!”

“You mean, other than tiny mechanical boxes?” Dipper asked.

“Yes. Saying that they are scary would be an understatement.” Bill concluded.

 

“Space worm…” Dipper got out a pencil and started writing down everything the demon said on his notebook. Curious. He had never heard of something like that before.

Bill glared at him. “Yes. They are… they are huge and… and although that teeth is tiny you must remember that I found it in a dead black hole so… so you know that this is all a dream, right?? You won’t have those notes when you wake up!”

“Ah, right.” Dipper frowned at the teeth. “I won’t be keeping them, huh?”

He watched as the demon threw a small temper tantrum. He was clearly upset but trying to not-destroy the entire room. He wasn’t tearing out the walls of stabbing dipper with a book or anything lie that, Bill was just floating around and kicking his arms and legs.

“YOU!! YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM!” he said finally.

“Yeah? I mean… yes. I like them.”

“YOU LIKE THEM??” the demon let himself fall from the air. “You like them.”

“I love your great gift!” Dipper said, to add salt to the wound. He was really enjoying this out of nowhere victory against Bill.

“I spent weeks gathering enough energy to pull this off.” Bill groaned. “and you LIKED IT.”

Dipper had almost finished chuckling when he felt something sharp touch his throat. He couldn’t see what it was but he could see the room around him flickering. Things were fading in and out of existence. Bill was weakening despite his fury.

 

“This is all I have.” The demon said. He didn’t sound like himself. He sounded tired. “This is all I have for entertainment. I wait and then I make you suffer and you can’t even suffer right. You won’t even give me that much.”

The sharpness at Dippers throat disappeared. The room disappeared. It was just the two of them in a dark black void. Bill’s anger faded as the darkness sank in.

“Looks like our time is up Pine Tree.”

Dipper brought his hands up in utter confusion. What the hell had just happened? That had been the shortest dream ever! Had Bill just tried to Murder him? What the hell was happening right now? And Most importantly-

“Are you alright??” he asked.

Bill blinked twice before averting Dippers gaze and staring at the blackness again. “Well, as you can see the dream is crumbling as we speak. You can wake up any second now and then I’ll be gone.”

“No, that’s no what I mean.” Dipper said, trying not to wake himself up. “I mean… you don’t seem quite yourself.”

“OH. IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING??” the demon had already started to grow in size and turn red before he abruptly stopped and returned to his original form. “Is that what you were saying?? LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW! Actually. You don’t. BUT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE EVEN GUESSED THAT I’M COMPLETELY FUCKING BORED IN THAT STUPID BOX!”

Dipper was hoping that he would never wake up. He had never seen Bill be angry and cute at the same time.

 

“I sit there, in the darkness, all day and try to think of the best way to mess with you WHEN I CAN and when it finally happens it’s never good enough!! It’s NEVER good enough because for it to be good enough it would have to last longer than 10 MINUTES!!”

“So, it’s like sex.” Dipper said, extremely proud of himself for making his first sex joke.

“This is why you have no friends Pine Tree.” The triangle groaned.

“No friends? Are you kidding me? That’s your weakest insult yet. Your corners hurt more than that insult.”

“My POINT is that Mabel left you all alone on your birthday. If she doesn’t care then nobody cares.”

“Bill, I’m at a pretty good point in my life. I’m pretty happy these days. If anyone should be mocking the others social capabilities it would be me.”

“I do have friends!” Bill claimed. “They just aren’t here!”

“I mean… same.” Dipper concluded.

The demon sneered in annoyance. The mere thought that they had something in common seemed to infuriate him. “Why haven’t you woken up yet?”

“Being here is more fun.” It was the truth.

“UGH. I HATE YOU!” Bill hissed.

“Stop screaming and tell me what’s wrong, will you?” Dipper smiled sympathetically.

“Oh???” Bill was fuming. “LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW!”

“Well, Ford told me not to tinker with the box. I know nothing about how it works which is good because otherwise you might try and get that information out of me, you know?”

Bill rolled his eye and continued in a complete monotone. “Getting information out of a poor sleeping boy? What kind of monster would do that?”

It brought a chuckle out of Dipper. “Exactly. So, no. I didn’t know that you were bored. Can’t you magic yourself a TV or something?”

 

“I can’t ‘magic’ myself a Dipper. Which is what I want.”

“Why would you want that? Are you lonely?”

“Me?”

“Um, yeah? Are YOU lonely?”

Bill stared.

“Well, are you?” Dipper asked, creeped out by Bill’s lack of emotion.

“No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The strange empty expression gave way to an annoyed look and Dipper relaxed a bit. “Well, you shouldn’t! I’m a MASTER of lying.”

“I know. I have no doubt that this is just a pity tactic to gain my sympathy.”

“Nope. I didn’t plan any of this. I mean it, you can wake up. I can’t do anything.”

“You’re lying.” Dipper insisted.

“WAKE UP PINE TREE! I DON’T NEED YOU HERE!” Bill hissed.

This was becoming weirder by the second. Dpper could feel it, he could feel himself being in bed, he could feel the rays of sunshine on his skin. He kept his eyes closed. Bill wouldn’t make himself look pitiable. His pride would’t allow it, not to mention that it really didn’t feel right at all. He wasn’t disappearing either, instead waiting for Dipper to wake up. Could it be? Was he telling the truth?

 

The demon was certainly capable of feeling joy and anger, so why not loneliness. But, what was Dipper thinking, this was the same creature that he was trying to banish from existence. Well, not from existence but at least from this dimension…

Still… Dipper wasn’t the type to torture someone, or even leave them to suffer like this. But he wasn’t stupid either. Bill was not to be trusted.

“I don’t trust you… but I like dreaming about you.” He said, finally. “Is there any way that…. Nevermind.”

“We could strike a deal.” Bill said, with zero enthusiasm.

“No! Nevermind!”

“That’s what I thought.”

 

Silence.

 

“Can you do temporary deals?”

Bill laughed. It wasn’t a very happy laugh but it broke the tension for sure. “I don’t usually do those but… uh… yes, of course I can.”

Dipper folded his arms. “Then I would like to see you in my dreams tomorrow. Only. Tomorrow. To test out how much self-control you have.”

“Kid. Are you for real??”

“Maybe.” He was trying to act professional but he was doing this for purely emotional reasons so it wasn’t very believable.

“You’re dumber than I thought!” Bill exclaimed before setting his hand aflame. “ALRIGHT! I invade your dreams tomorrow and in exchange you LET ME invade your dreams tomorrow.”

“Nope.”

Bill groaned and put out his hand with angry pats. “Of course not. You just like watching me struggle.”

“That’s not it, I just don’t want to spend all night with you. So here’s the deal: I let you visit me for an hour tomorrow and in return YOU promise **not** to make me **regret it**.”

There was silence.

“You’re WAY dumber than I thought!” Bill reached out his hand excitedly. “DEAL!”

“Deal!”

 

 

Dipper woke up.

He yawned and stretched and soon he was down in the living room and utterly speechless. They had prepared a surprise birthday party. everyone Including Mable. It was absolutely ridiculous.

Dipper laughed and thanked everyone as they one by one came up to him to congratulate him, hug him or pat his shoulder or whatever.

It was amazing.

So where the gifts! Mabel had bought him 3 new empty journals, which made Dipper laugh. The others had bought him shoes, a new hat that Bill would probably hate, more cake and all sorts of junk. Between all of the presents, there was one that Dipper had tried to ignore because it unsettled him. He was forced to confront it when there were no other gifts left.

“So!” he started. “Who in the world bought the Bill shaped gift?”

They laughed but nobody answered.

“Well, I guess it’s a surprise.” Dipper laughed and opened the gift. And then he dropped it.

Teeth scattered the ground.

Impossible.

That was… this was impossible. Bill couldn’t do this. How?? The… The deal. Oh no.

He had worded that incorrectly, hadn’t he?

 


	2. The Lowest Amount of Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: how to convince someone that they don’t regret inviting YOU to their birthday party!
> 
> Thank you Somebodys_Nobody for the motivation :D

 

Dippers first thought had been: ‘ _Oh, there’s that rainbow tooth again_ ’ and for a split second he had admired it’s beauty, his second thought wasn’t really coherent and was more similar to panicked screaming than actual words.

Very quickly, he realized that Bill was now on a physical plane of existance, again. He remembered VERY WELL what happened last time that happened. Saying that Bill had a history of violence was like saying that the tooth fairly was a bit of a collector. No, a bit of a collector is when you have 20 of something, not if you travel the multiverse is search of any and all unwanted teeth.

It was actually very surprising that nobody had died yet! Though, if anyone did die, it would be Dippers fault. All his fault.

He had to get the triangle, wherever he was, away from other human beings PRONTO! But how?? The one thing bill loved in life was CHAOS! There was nothing he loved more! NOTHI-oh.

 

“I will be riiight back!” Dipper lied with a big fake smile before leaving the mystery shack in a sprint. He headed into the woods and tried his very best to take weird and unpredictable routes in the hopes of nobody following him.

There was worry building up in his chest QUICKLY. There was no telling that this would work. Absolutely no indicator that this would in any shape or form convince the demon **not** to try and kill everybody!

His flimsy legs collapsed near a gigantic tree with strange large rocks around it. Dipper leaned into one of the rocks and panted, panick and exhaustion making him feel weak yet hyper at the same time. It was a terrible cocktail of emotions that he had hoped to never ever experience again.

You know, said the rock.

“If I wanted to kill everybody, I would have already done so.” Bill finished.

Dipper screamed and Bill floated in place deadpanned until the small human finished screaming.

“OH MY GOD THAT WORKED?!” Dipper yelled. He had hoped that Bill would follow him, as he seemed to be always after him for one reason or another, but it had been more of a desperate attempt rather than actual logical thinking.

 

“I’m going to need you to calm down Pine Tree. Believe it or not, I have no clue how to un-scare someone so you have to do that for me.”

“You better not be lying!! I swear, if you dare hurt Mabel or-“

“-any of the other completely useless and uninteresting people that have been forced into my life, then I will destroy you!” Bill completed, imitating Dippers tone. It brought no reaction out of the boy so Bill fixed his bowtie to regain his confidence and continued. “I literally can’t hurt a soul, Pine Tree! The deal was that I get to roam freely and YOUUUU don’t regret it!”

Dipper looked rather dumbfounded for a moment. “oh. Right… that’s how I worded it. But, then, why are you here?”

“Because you are here, sweety!” Bill smiled and playfully booped Dipper nose.

“NO! I mean, you can roam freely, right??”

“Yes but I know for a fact that if I leave your sight you will assume that I’m doing unimaginably horrible things to newborn babies. A correct assumption, if it wasn’t for the deal.”

“So… huh… you really can’t hurt anyone?”

“I know, Weirdmageddon was way more fun but what can you do.”

“That’s… that’s great, actually! So, what _can_ you do?” Dipper asked, testing the limitations.

“I suppose I could potentially help people.” The demon shrugged. “But I’m not sure how that would end. Knowing me, probably poorly. I have very little knowledge on proper human etiquette.”

 

Leaning into the ruck and sighing loudly, Dipper relaxed. Not regretting making a deal with Bill was like a lunatic’s impossible drug induced fantasy, and yet it appeared to be true! It was really **really** too good to be true, wasn’t it? Cautious optimism, Dipper decided.

“I have vast knowledge of improper human etiquette.” The demon continued. “For example, I know for a fact that making that rock bite you would be very improper right now, so I am regretfully assuming I should not do that.”

“Please don’t.” Dipper laughed. “Oh, god, what am I even doing?”

“That sounded like regret, kid! Can’t have you feeling any of that! Help me out here for a moment, will you? What would be a thing to do that would sufficiently **NEVER MAKE YOU FORGET THIS DAY EVER** but in a good way?”

Dipper shifted uncomfortably as the rock behind his back let out a small growl. “Um… honestly, you not killing everybody is enough to make me remember this for sure. I had no idea that you were capable of engaging in good deals.”

“Not capable of-???” Bill flailed his suddenly very long noodle arms around in unadulterated offence. “I will let you know that I am in fact very capable of participation in ‘good deals’. Have you ever even HEARD of ME not completing my side of the bargain?? No! Look kid, if you make me write the contract then suuuure I might add in some details that you wouldn’t normally agree to but look at our situation right now! YOU wrote the contract and now here I am! Making you regret it. I really have to find a way to stop making you feel that way.”

Dipper tensed up the moment Bill started getting closer. The triangle floated around him a couple of times, inspecting him like one would inspect a tire with a hole in it.

“How abooout…” Bill started gleefully but then looked away. “No. Nevermind. But what if- no, you wouldn’t even survive that. But we could- but then somebody could geeet huuuurt, ooooh nooo.” He paused for a moment, deep in thought. “How much cotton candy can you eat without bursting like a pinata?”

 

Despite the creepy suggestions, Dipper was getting used to the physical presence of this ex-murder machine. It was almost pleasant to be alone in the woods with someone just as weird as him to talk to. No offense to the residents of gravity falls, pf course, but there was a certain childishness in Bill that Dipper failed to see in anybody else. It was weirdly charming.

“Do humans even enjoy massages? But I couldn’t resist crushing you. What about pets? I could get you a unicorn! But those are girly pets. Do you care if something is girly or no-“

 

Bill froze and his eye widened. Dipper couldn’t even read his terrifying expression when he looked down at him.

 

“ _Piiine Tree?”_ Bill’s voice sent a chill down his spine. “ _What are you doing?”_

“Humans like holding hands. It’s very pleasant.” Dipper claimed.

“Oh.” Bill’s expression softened immediately. “I suppose I don’t know anything about that so it’s probably proper.” He gazed around in a way that could be seen as distant but could also easily be embarrassment. “Your hand feels a lot less meaty than I had expected.” He added.

Dipper had a hard time figuring out what in the world he was holding. Bill’s hand felt like rock but had been clearly bendable before. Bill wiggled his fingers in the most unnatural way possible, mostly to freak Dipper out.

“What are you made out of?” Dipper dared to ask.

“Dreams and fear.” Bill smiled, or rather his eye looked very pleased with himself.

“Yeah, you do seem like the type to be scared of physical contact…” Dipper mumbled. For a split second, he thought he saw something red but when he looked the triangle was just calmly staring.

“I’m a demon, you know.” Bill pointed out while Dipper continued to push and pull at his fingers and he had to try really hard to not just let his joints pop off or turn his fingers into spiders.

“So?”

“Demons aren’t particularly nice to other demons.”

“Oh, so you had a tough childhood?”

Bill rolled his eye. “Demons don’t have ‘childhoods’. My point was, demons aren’t nice to each other and when was the last time you heard of anyone being nice to a demon??”

Dipper shrugged and sandwiched Bills hand between his own.

“Exactly. It’s just not something that happens. Usually the relationships I have are purely professional or lethal, with no in between. Meaning, touch is either meant to be professional or lethal! And usually I set my hand on fire before agreeing to a contract anyway because…” he trailed off. “uh, germs.” He decided.

“Germs are the worst.” Dipper said, completely unconvinced but playing along.

“They are worse than demons.” Bill nodded.

There was a long pause before either of them spoke again.

“So, is it bothering you that I’m holding you right now?” Dipper asked.

Bill just stared for a moment. “Why are you still holding me, anyway?”

“Oh!” Dipper laughed at that. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Actually NO!” the triangle beamed. “What in the world are you doing?”

“I’m being nice to you.” Dipper smiled widely.

 

 

Bill felt a shaky breath escape him. He felt the urge to wipe Dippers memories completely, deleting everything he knew and was and leaving him as an empty husk. But, that would go against the deal.

“You ok?” Dipper asked.

“Let go.”

“Uh, sorry.”

Dipper let his hand go immediately and Bill proceeded to take a handkerchief out of his brick-pocket and wipe his hand clean. On pure accident, he forgot to wipe the centre of his palm before lighting the handkerchief on fire and watching it disintegrate into nothing.

“Don’t be nice to me, Pine Tree.” He concluded. “INSTEAD, LET MEEEE, be nice to YOUUU! I have thought of a brilliant plant that is sure to make you not-regret having me here!”

“Uh… what is it?” Dipper asked reluctantly. A lot had happened today already. Being around Bill was always going to be an emotional roller coaster but today was… somewhat pleasant. There was definitely some fun to be had in this amusement park but Dipper knew better than to and get onto the next ride without knowing what’s ahead.

“Let me give you a hint: bloody reeed!”

“We’re not going near Wendy.” Dipper said. The confidence in his words was almost startling.

“What about-“

“We aren’t going near anyone I know.”

 

“What about going to somewhere new? Like Paris?”

“Can you even leave Gravity Falls?”

“Unclear.”

“Then no.”

“UGH.” The demon groaned. “This is nonsense, let me just search your brain-“

Dipper shrieked as Bill pulled out a pink chainsaw. “NO-DON’T!”

“Whoops. Ha-ha. Sorry, kid. I keep forgetting that I need you to like me.” Bill joked, digging the chainsaw into the ground and leaning against it. “Honestly, I don’t even need to touch you to see into your head but it just amuses me endlessly to watch you suffer.”

“Why?” Dipper whined.

“I’m a demon. It’s in my nature. Aaaanyway, I know that you’re a curious one. I know that you want to know more about my kind. So how about I invite you to a drink in another dimension?”

“Another dimension?”

“That’s what I said! Do you like how it sounds?”

“I do but are you sure I won’t regret this?”

 

The silence between the was so deathly that not even birds dared to chirp. Bill’s chuckles slowly became audible. “Oh, Pine Tree! Sure, I am! TRUST ME! It will beperfectlyfine, I doubt anyone will even notice us when we’re both so small!”

Bill summoned a strange necklace and handed it to Dipper.

“What’s this?”

“I made it just for you, don’t you like it??” Bill whined.

“Um…” It seemed like a rather normal necklace, apart from the translucent triangle shaped charm attached to it. Touching the charm made him feel very light.

“I know, I know, the whole triangle thing is getting old but it’s just such a classic shape, don’t you think?”

“Bill, are you going to explain what this is or what?”

“You’re no fun, Pine Tree. We’re going to travel to a half-dimension. That necklace will make you half of what you are currently, that way you’ll stay in one piece!”

 

Dipper stared.

 

“Look, kid, if you were a scientist, I might feel more comfortable explaining all of this to you but you’re not so I’m just giving you the broad details. Put that thing on, will you?”

Dipper did as he was told, although he felt that he was almost more confused than before. Putting on the necklace made him understand thing a bit, though. he looked at himself. He was two dimensional! Paper thin, almost, yet still fully himself; very much like Bill.

“Please tell me this isn’t permanent.”

“Shhhh, relax. No regrets, remember? I LITERALLY cannot do that to you. But wouldn’t it be **hilarious** if I did?? Imagine being like that **FOREVER**! You’d be a total freak! You would never have to worry about your weight ever again but you would still be put in that funny museum.”

Dipper rolled his eyes. At least he knew that it wasn’t permanent now.

Bill snapped his fingers and they were gone.

 

 

First there was darkness. Then Dipper felt a strange pull and push around him, like he was traveling so fast that his body was bending… and then he was there.

Around him was a strange landscape; dark yet illuminated, countless small spots visible around the dark nothingness they were standing on. It looked like space, vaguely but Dipper decided that it wasn’t. It didn’t look quite right.

He noticed that under his feet there was definitely ground, even though there was nothing there, and over him there was definitively a limit although he couldn’t see it. It wasn’t space, it was half space. A limited plane of existence in the middle of nothingness, a half dimension.

There were creatures that towered over them. Shapes and animals wearing funny hats and outfits that Dipper couldn’t even identify. Some of them looked more humanoid and some looked completely bizarre but all of them were much larger than both Dipper and Bill.

“Welcome to one of the in between dimension, infested by the demonic plague! Demons eat each other, new demons are born every second and every second here is like a millisecond on earth, meaning that everyone who once knew me here has probably forgotten what I even look like by now, assuming that they are even alive anymore!”

“U-Uh…”

“Not to mention that they keep growing because they keep eating each other. Did you know that back in MY day I used to be one of the biggest people here?”

“I, no…” Dipper said, trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing.

“Most demons are ancient, due to the way the dimensions work. By the time they learn how to exit this plane, they have already experienced every single emotion they are capable of experiencing. Nothing is new to them.”

“Ancient… huh? Bill, how old are you?”

“Oh, that’s a very good question! You know how you humans get to be around 80 years old these days?”

“Uh, yes?”

“And during that time you go from ‘ _excited youngster_ ’ to ‘ _depressed teen_ ’ to ‘ _anxious young adult_ ’ to ‘ _ignoring all distractions_ ’ to ‘ _what am I doing with my life_ ’ to ‘ _it’s not too late yet_ ’ to ‘ _its too late now_ ’ to ‘ _I’m not ready to die yet_ ’?”

“That’s not how everyone-“

“Yeah, it’s basically just like the except we have more stages, as well as more in-between stages such as ‘ _how do I get out of this place?_ ’ and ‘ _are my friends trying to eat me or am I  just going crazy?_ ’ to ‘ _I am totally going crazy and SO ARE THEY_ ’ and eventually you and up at ‘ _NOTHING MATTERS AND I SHOULD JUST SELF-INDULGE UNTIL THE DAY MY OWN MISTAKES CAUSE MY DEMISE_ ’!”

 

Dipper stared for a while, not at the sheer insanity around him but at the demon floating next to him. “You must have been alone for way too long!”

“You must not know me at all!” Bill chuckled. “Seriously, Pine tree, I would prefer it if you grew to like the actual me and not your deluded version of me. It’s alright though, I assumed you wouldn’t understand.”

He pointed upwards and Dipper followed his gaze. Above them were gigantic beings, so gigantic that they were barely noticeable. They looked like mountains with invisible peaks, going up so high that their crows were invisible to the human eye.

“Those are some of the most ancient demons.” Bill explained. “Zish and Dem have been fighting each other since way before I came to be. They understand the demonic world view the best. They love fighting each other and so they do it forever, until one of them falls due to their own weakness. It’s spectacular to witness a fight continue for so very long. I wonder how it will end.”

“Don’t they ever stop?”

“They stop if another demon gets big enough, then they tear them apart and fight over who gets to eat what.”

“That’s… terrifying.”

Bill was about to agree when suddenly one of the demons noticed him.

 

“Cipher?” It asked and it’s voice sounded very deep and hollow. The demon had the appearance of a very tall and very grey rectangle with short legs and sandals. Its mouth was just a slit and it had razer sharp teeth. Also worth mentioning was the fact that it was at least three times bigger than Dipper.

“Cipher!! It’s you!” It screamed in that awful hollow voice and Dipper hoped to god that this thing wouldn’t eat them.

“Oh, Blex, it’s been forever! How are you?”

“Cipher, you have no idea what you’ve missed!!”

“I can imagine, you look HUGE!” Dipper noticed a strange shift in the way Bill talked. There was something uneasy in his tone. Dipper decided to start panicking.

“All of us, Benny and the others, we had a fight!”

“And… and…” Bill sounded like he was at the verge of laughter or tears or both.

“I ate ALL OF THEM!”

 

Manic laughter. The sound of which would destroy any sane mans psyche. Dipper was regretting this. He was regretting all of this. He stopped regretting when he felt Bill grab his hand.

“HAHAHAHA-we’re leaving-AHAHAHAHA!”

“Bill, you should have seen their faces!! They were so- Bill? **Where are you going?** ”

Bill snapped his fingers and they were back in the woods.

This. This was a disaster.

 

The dream demon looked over at the shivering pile of meat that was the Pine Tree. This had been a huge mistake. He should have REALLY known better. But it wasn’t his fault!! He simply couldn’t think of anything else at the time.

All of his ideas seemed to go into extremes, starting off with a good idea but then scaring the living skeleton out of the small human. And… well… this idea had done the same.

Pity.

He had really thought it could be entertaining to show Dipper where he had grown up. They could have joked about how most of the demons were trapped in that funky half-dimension and how none of them would ever get to taste ice-cream without learning how to make a deal.

It could have been fun… but alas. Alas he was just bad at fun. He had never learned how to make others have fun. Maybe Dipper was right. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he should just stay lonely. Stay in that box. Away from people. Entertain himself. Make a fake Dipper that always screamed.

It as probably better that way.

“H-hey…”

Bill turned to look at the tiny meat pile.

“Um…” he continued. “Thanks for holding my hand back there. You don’t like it… but you did it because I was scared. Thank you.”

Bill stared. Had he really- no, the boy was delusional. Poor boy. Poor Dipper.

“I’m sorry about your friends.” Dipper added.

“Ha-ha! Don’t worry about that! All of those guys stopped being my friends a long time ago. When I left they were all just focused on eating and staying alive. They all tried to kill me multiple times, it was inevitable that… but Blex of all people. Who would have thought?”

There were many questions in Dippers mind. How did Bill leave the half dimension while the others appeared to be stuck? Why were the demons so cannibalistic? Why was friendship such a loose concept for demons and did Bill even have any friends at this point?

He wanted to know so many things and yet he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

 

Bill looked distraught. Dipper had never seen him like that. He usually seemed to switch periodically between lackadaisical and furious. Usually worry or surprise would leave his expression instantly.

“I admit that today didn’t exactly go as planned.” Bill said, finally. He floated down and removed the necklace from Dipper before neatly putting it in a takeout bag and giving it back to the boy. “But technically you didn’t lose anything.”

That had to be worth something, right? Bill could only hope.

“Yeah… today has been… weird. But it was definitely interesting.”

Oh? Did the boy NOT regret it??

“Would you go as far as to say that your good old pal Bill here completed his side of the bargain?” Bill asked, nudging the boy and pushing his luck as far as he could.

“I think I would say that you definitely tried.” Dipper smirked. “And that was worth watching.”

Bill smirked even more. “Oh, you just LOVE watching me suffer, don’t you? You little demon.”

And just like that, the hour was over, and Dipper was left alone in the woods with a growling rock and a takeout bag.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing these is just so weird. Bill moves REALLY fast in the show, and I do want to capture that feeling but I have no idea if I managed to do so.  
> Please comment any suggestions or criticism in the comments bellow. Every comment is very much appreciated. Thank you guys :)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the end. If you want me to keep writing, write me a comment!  
> Please also comment if you think I can improve on some aspect of my work, thank you :)


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